Hello everyone,
Sorry I disappeared for a month. My motivation and dedication just isn't as strong as it used to be, I feel like such a failure.
This morning I weighed in at 1 lb heavier than I was a month ago, so my 1 month challenge was a complete and utter failure.
The only good thing that has happened to me all month was meeting my beautiful best friend, who I met through blogging years ago, when I used to actually be a success and lose weight while I blogged. Unlike the fat, disgusting, lazy failure I've become now.
Was so wonderful to see her, spending the day getting drunk in London, without even having to think about food the whole time we were there because we could keep each other strong.
Love you so much darling, I wish we lived closer so every day could be as wonderful as Monday was.
1 week until 2016, and I've lost only about 20 lbs all year. That sounds like a substantial amount, but my BMI is still pushing into the overweight range, it's not an achievement, just me not being quite as obese as I was.
I need to lose another 40 lbs before I can even begin to feel happy with my weight again, I just live my whole life trying to hide away because I'm so embarrassed by what I've become.
New Year Resolution: become vegan again.
I was vegan for a few months back when I was in sixth form (well vegan except for binge food which I purged; I was so bad with binges that I broke a lifetime of vegetarianism in a binge/purge of a chicken wrap because it was just there and I couldn't stop eating).
But it did help me with cravings and snacking. It made me stop and reconsider everything that I ate: check the ingredients, check the calories. Can I eat it? Probably not, Do I need to eat it? Definitely not.
I need that control and strength back in my life.
I need to lose weight.
Hope everyone is doing well and are happy.
Do you guys have any resolutions for the new year?
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