Small wins

Hi all,

Yesterday wasn't quite the success I had the day before.
My recorded intake was 249 cals. Which included eating basically a spoonful of pickle; the taste is still haunting me.
But at about midnight I kinda lost my mind and went on a mini binge (sorry I didn't tell you Rayya, I was just so ashamed). I had a handful of sea salt crisps, then a crispbread with cheese and fucking sour cream and chive dip on it, then a bagel with more cheese and pickle. Oh and a handful of salted peanuts.
I haven't calculated the calories for this binge because I'm just so disgusted with myself. I went to bed feeling full and like the biggest failure in the world.

This morning I weighed and by some miracle, despite my greediness, I lost another 1.2 lbs.
I'm now 0.8 lbs away from my first goal weight.
5.8 lbs away from the weight I desperately want to be by Friday, the weight that will knock my BMI down another number.

I met my ex very briefly yesterday, we were supposed to be going to his to watch American Horror Story, in an attempt to stay friends. But he cancelled this saying he was ill.
I was so pissy and blunt in my replies that he said he'd meet me for a bit, and to be fair to him, he looked and sounded really bloody ill.
We've rescheduled our netflix (and hopefully no chill) session to Wednesday.. I wonder how much more weight I could lose before then..

Apparently he's out on Friday, and so am I because it's a colleague's birthday night out. I really hope I can at the very least get down 5.8lbs by then. If I means I don't eat a thing between now and then, it'll be worth it.
I can't help but feel that if we're both drunk and forced to spend time together (mutual friends so I'll have to spend the night in his company) that maybe something will happen with us. As long as he doesn't get with someone else in front of me..

Ah well, I should be worrying about losing weight, not fretting about exes who won't want me until I'm skinny again...